A child running a shop

Monday mornings always bring forward the realisation that life doesn't stop and wait for you. this morning also told me that my blind doesn't wait for me either, as the bloody thing fell away to expose a very sunny day at 8 o'clock this morning. my first opportunity to sleep in and my bedroom blind falls away as if to say "come on, you've had your 8 hours now get up and empty the dish washer" Any way, back to the actual point to this. I had a rubbish rubbish Saturday. between the hours of 9 and 11, 95% of the customers i served at work were horrible. it wasn't just like they were a bit grumpy, they were actually horrible, blaming me for the fact that something had the wrong price on it, the fact that they hate shops with music playing. And believe that by looking at me and the other guy working there (Sam, aged 21) the shop is obviously run by children. I think these people actually went out to cause upset on Saturday. They don't believe me when i tell them I'm in charge, they give me a filthy look as if to say "you expect me to believe that someone with all those bracelets on their arms and dots of eyeliner would actually run a shop" In the end, i spent the busiest afternoon of the week out in the stock room and office doing paperwork and what i call 'backstage' stuff. I physically couldn't face the public for fear I'd slap someone. It's was a weird feeling, empty. I couldn't even be bothered to smile. Then came on the guilt, i felt selfish, arrogant and even more upset at that. So i forced on a smile for the last couple of hours before going home feeling deflated. I wanted to go to a comedy night that some friends perform but i couldn't raise a smile and i didn't want to bring down other perfectly normal people. So McBride took me home, fed me and gave me an extra large bar of Turkish delight. Then we watched the Goonies, (ultimate in comfort films)

Waking up on Sunday was completely different. The fact i wake up next to a crazy Scotsman always cheers me up anyway, but in the 4 and a half minutes it took me to get changed, i realised that yesterday was the top of the crapness, but that's done, and I'll get over it, everyone does it at the end of the day. Everyone wants to kill members of the public. Whether they walk really slowly and take up the whole pavement, whether they put their bag on the last seat on the bus and refuse to move it, or whether they just have an annoying laugh, Everyone pisses off someone. Lets face it, you're agreeing with me. I bet in this last week, at least one person has made you think "for f**k sake!"

So yesterday at work was an altogether better day. I do like working Sundays, The staff i work with are great, and people tend to be a little less GRRRR!!!! on a Sunday, maybe because it's gods day, i don't know And McBride met me for lunch, which was lovely. See, nearly of the happy things i talk about lead back to that little man. He's my hero! I don't know why i babble on about useless things like this, It's not interesting, It's not informative, it's just words thrown together, yet still I write. I don't know, maybe it's in the hope that someone will talk back with an answer, Maybe it's just a way to get it off my chest, or maybe it a reason to throw it all down on the table and see where I'm going wrong. I'm still learning a great deal from life, Like who to trust, who to stay clear of, whats best for both my body and my heart. It's a lot to think of when you're "A child running a shop!"

I'll stop now, that's enough.

Thank you for being patient with me.

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