Crisp Episode

So I'm on the 700 bus, somewhere between Havant and Bosham. It's 11 o'clock in the morning and I'm reading.

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The book is 'One Day' and it's rather good. I'm quite (well, very) distracted by the storyline. So much so that I can't tear my eyes away.

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Here's where the story really starts.

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Without looking away, I open a bag of pickled onion Monster Munch with one hand and start to nibble through. Taking out a paw shaped crisp, popping it in my mouth and repeating as necessary. All the while reading about Dexter and Emma. I notice (without looking) that the next Monster Munch is rather large, so I bite a bit off. As I do, another piece breaks off and fall onto the bus floor. I see it out of the corner of my eye, almost in slow motion, bounce off the blue and orange seat and hit the floor with a quiet smack noise.

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What do I do?

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Do I just leave it there? If I do, someone might tread on it and smoosh (is that a real word?) it into the floor. It's not going to roll away so it's not going anywhere. The old guy in the seat opposite is looking at me. I'm refusing to take my eyes off the book. 

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Do I pick it up? Will it make me look like a hungry tramp? I'll have to lean out into the aisle to retrieve it. What if the bus suddenly breaks and I end up falling out of my seat? By now about 30 seconds have passed. Is it too late to do anything now? I still wont' look away from my book. Scared of the judgement being passed by the old guy in the beige jacket.

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This shouldn't be bugging me this much. It's hardly a life altering situation. Just pick up the poxy Monster Munch. Quickly, whilst the bus is stationary. NOW! Oops, bus is moving again and...Someone is coming up the stairs. Oh god, pick up the crisp, pick up the crisp, PICK UP THE CRISP!

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Beige is still watching me. I'm staring blankly at a page that hasn't been turned for ages. How slow can I pretend to read? The woman is walking down the aisle, closer and closer. Footsteps beating on the floor. She's going to tread on the crisp. Why didn't I pick it up in the first 5 seconds? It's too late now. No hope. the Monster Munch is going to end up a small pile of crumbs!

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GET OVER IT!

PICK IT UP!

MAKE A DECISION!

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I lean out and quick like a cat, pick up the crisp. Beige tuts at me, I think he's half expecting me to eat it. Instead I hold it in my hand, triumphant. I made a decision. I am a god! I...Have nowhere to put the remains of the crisp.

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Now, that's another story. I'm sure you're too distressed from this episode to know what happened after I picked it up. I know I was.

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Hardly edge of your seat gritty, but still, made me stressed and paranoid.

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I think my priorities might be slightly wrong.