So Apparently...

So apparently I'm an information desk

People come into my shop all the time and ask me things I either don't know or don't care about.

"Where's the nearest toilets?" "what time does TK Maxx close today?" "what's the fastest bus to Silverburn?" And these are only a few. I sell jewellery, I do not give out free tours around the city centre. There is an information desk just around the corner. Bugger off and use it.

~*~

So apparently I'm a liar.

A woman comes in and asks if she can get a link taken out of her watch. I apologise and say we unfortunately can't as we don't have the equipment. She then changes into Satan's mother in law and snaps back 'Well, the girl in your shop in East Kilbride did it for me so you can too!' I inform her that we don't have a shop in East Kilbride and that's when things get very...ggggrrr. She (quote) bought it from our shop in East Kilbride and I'm just being difficult.  Then she takes a watch we don't sell out of her bag and a receipt from a completely different shop. I explain this to her and she grabs the receipt out of my hand and says, 'Well it looks the same in here. Either you or the girl in your East Kilbride shop is a liar!' The venom in the last word of that sentence made me raise my eyebrows slightly too high. 'Forget it, I'll just go back to your East Kilbride shop!'

'Sorry but like I said, we don't have a shop there.'

Nope, I'm just white noise to her now.

~*~

So apparently I'm a lesbian

I'm standing in the stir fry section in Tesco and a chap in his sixties stands beside me with some vegetables and noodles.

'Do you think this would be enough for two?' he asks me

'Well, that's how much me and my partner have and that's the right amount for us.'

A small pause

'And..is..she a big eater?'

Damn the word 'partner'!

~*~

So apparently it's OK to let your child draw over our white wall with black crayon.

Enough said about this one really. God bless WD40

~*~

So apparently I'm coming home in less than a fortnight.

This is true. and I can't wait. My Steffi and Gary are coming up next Wednesday then I'm off home with them on the Saturday. Anyone reading this who wants to pop round and say hi just let me know. (Obviously I need to actually know you. Apparently I've got people as far as Russia and Australia reading this. No offence and thanks for reading but I'd rather spend time with people I know. ta)

~*~

So apparently this blog has a purpose.

No, I don't think so either.

~*~

Ta