A Demonstation

I was wandering around town today looking for bargains (and new slippers) And I wandered into Anne Summers. (they had a sale on and... hell, I don't have to justify! I like the underwear!)

Then I got a text from a friend at work, so I multi tasked. I text back "Strong mints help me when mine hurts" (he had a sore throat) and continued to wander round.

~*~

As I looked up from the phone, I found myself surrounded by...Grown up things! I had obviously walked into the 'over 18' Section. I actually gasped slightly.

~*~

Now, I'm not saying this stuff shocks me. I know what it is, I know what it's for and there's nothing wrong with them. I just wasn't expecting to look up from a text about strong mints and come face to face with a big purple...ladies friend! (Steffi calls them bobs, Battery Operated Boyfriends) I looked around with a look that I believe was a cross between confusion and amusement. I must have looked slightly scared as well as a shop assistant came over.

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"Would you like a demonstration on anything?"

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What? Are you going to get naked? Is this legal? Are you going to make me get naked? Is this a wind up? A demonstration? What? Shouldn't we at least have coffee first? Bit forward aren't we?

All these questions whizzed through my head in a matter of seconds but all I could physically do was stare at her. Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. And I tell no lie, the first words I said after I was offered a hopefully legal demonstration was...

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"Dirty pillow?"

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Yep, get in there Charley, grab your coat, you've pulled!

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What I had seen was a fluffy pillow in the shape of lips under a sign that said 'Dirty Pillows'. The shop assistant looked slightly scared then said 'Yes, it's a pillow that when you press it, It talks dirty to you.'

~*~

Why would I want that? A pillow that spat out automated innuendoes? Oh god. I need to get out of this scary place! I just smiled and said 'Mmm, maybe another time' (hopefully I steeped the remark in irony. I'd rather she didn't think I was serious.)

~*~

Want to hear the scary bit? I went to find it online to show Steffi what I meant. It's not there!

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Oh god, was it some kind of weird non sexy pillow dream?

All Better Now

Yeah, Migraines! What's that about?

~*~

For two days, was at the point where I would have gladly cut of my own head with a blunt butter knife. I actually believe it would have hurt less! I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't see, I was sick, I was dizzy, By golly I was absolutely pants! Illness is Pants! It's all Pants!! (for some reason I feel that Pants should become a proper noun in this post and therefore hold a capital P.)

~*~

But luckily, Today I feel a lot better. So here's another list. I feel it's necessary (never eat cakes, eat sardine sandwiches and remain young!)

1: I received an Email today from a lovely lady who referred to me and Missus Lovely Pants. (I will Email you back my lovely, I promise)

2: Me and my manager spent three quarters of an hour today trying to assemble a single Christmas decoration. I was hard! But I laughed a lot.

3: I have the day off tomorrow. Which means I can do what the hell I like. I might go shopping, I might chase pigeons around the park, I might hold up a jewellers. (Although that's highly unlikely!)

4: My bedroom is uber tidy. Which makes me feel less stressed. I even made my bed this morning, something I very rarely do.

5: It only nine, yes NINE days until I get to see him again!

And about that...

~*~

In my head, this is how our reunion will go.

~*~

I'll have beautiful music on my Ipod (probably Sigur Ros or Florence and The Machine) And I'll have my hair in a messy but beautiful style. I'll be wearing lovely new clothes and my favourite perfume (Paul Smith Rose)

I'll hop off the train and look around. Just as the music reaches a breathtaking crecendo, he'll appear, holding two cups of coffee. He'll spot me and struggle in a slightly comedic way to find somewhere to put them down. He'll find somewhere and put them down just as I reach him. His arms will fly out and I will fall into him, (probably crying slightly) We will then have a big kiss that will make passers by slightly nausious. Then we'll walk hand in hand out of the station.

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How will it go in the real world?

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I'll be annoyed because My Ipod has run out of battery. He'll be late. I'll find him up the road, all running and out of breath and I'll look at him and say.

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You're late, You're Amazing, I've missed you!

One Month Down

How quickly did that whizz by? mmm?

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So, It's the 18th October. It's been a whole month since i last saw him (apart from pixelated on skype) and I have to admit that It's been....OK.

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So I'm freezing in bed, so what? OK, I've had chapped lips for weeks from lack of smoochies, meh! When i think about it, I've lost so many things I never even thought about on the train platform.

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Warm feet to put my frozen ones on * A pocket on his coat that's big enough for both our hands * Sharing a hot cup of tea and talking about how crap the weather is * Tickle fights on a Sunday morning to keep warm * Arguing over who's going to go out in the cold darkness when we've run out of sugar * two arms surrounding me from behind when I'm shivering at the bus stop * A kiss on the nose when it's sore from a cold *

~*~

It's easier to get by than it was. But inside, it's getting worse and worse. I think it's because of the change in weather. I was always so grateful for him when the weather was cold and I lost feeling in my toes. So many things I took for granted that I'd accept with endless gratitude now if he was here.

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But he's not. So I just have to tell him every day how much I 100% adore him. I tell him how cold I am. I say he's my hero. I tell him the bed's too big without him. He tells me all the same things. Then he tells me that it's only so many days. (Today it's 12!) and that keeps me going for that little bit longer.

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I hope He goes to see 'Up' (it's AMAZING!)

I hope the rehearsals for the play he got into are going well.

I hope He's smiling

I hope you're not nauseous from this soppy post.

~*~

One More thing....

I checked in online today!

One More Thing

I finally have the face he pulls when I'm angry.

How can you stay angry at a face like this?

Damn those puppy dog eyes!

P.S, I changed my blog name. I don't know why, I just fancied a change.

error

"Unable To Restore Iphone. Unknown Error 1604 Occurred"

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WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT???

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Ok, so I woke up (on my day off) and thought 'hmm, Upload session?' So I made some toast, made a nice cuppa tea (black, two sugars) and settles at the PC. I plugged my Iphone in, it uploaded for a while and BANG!

Well, Not actually bang but it made that sound it makes when you plug it it. (da dum, where the dum is higher than the da) then made a second da dum, which means some sort of error, where the dum is lower than the da (Is this making any sense?)

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Unable to update phone, please press restore to restore iPhone to factory settings.

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It's ok, everything's saved so I'll restore and then bung everything back over. (by now about 20 minutes have passed.) So I click restore and go out and make a fresh cuppa. (green tea this time) and came back to find the following message.

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Unable to restore iPhone, unknown error 1604, 2002, 1603, 2006 occurred. Basically chappy, you're phone is f****d!

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Ok, so it didn't say the last bit but the rest was true. Now, there's a blatant lie in that information. If the error is unknown, why have you given it a number? I clicked on more info and got a PDF about 27 pages long. I read the whole thing before I realised that there was no answer. So I turned to the interweb. My there's a lot of geeks out there. Telling my how to fix my apparently 'Bricked' phone. They're telling my about pop ups and files and folders I never knew existed. I followed the videos, read the forum sheets and tried again.

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Unable to restore iPhone, unknown error 1604 occurred.

~*~ I was getting angry by this point. Two and a half hours had passed of what I was hoping was going to be a productive day! and I was still sat here, Bored, frustrated, full of tea and therefore needing the bathroom and angry. So I restarted the computer and tried again. Yep

~*~

Unable to restore iPhone, unknown error 1604, 2002, 1603, 2006 occurred

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Then I saw a website that gave simple advice, no files, no 'updates' or 'upgrades' so I tried desperately one last time. If this didn't work, I was willing to through my phone at the cat that at the time was sitting on my wall outside the window. I unplugged the USB and plugged it into a different port on the BACK of the computer.

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And that was all I needed to flipping well do?! Are you flipping kidding me!?!

No Alcohol Required

The curls worked! for about 20 mins, but all the same, I went to my friends party on Friday night looking and feeling, quite pretty. Something that only happens rarely.

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I'll do this in bullet point fashion. Blunt, sharp and straight to the point.

* I drank NO alcohol! (well, two sips of a toast) and had so much fun.

* I danced like a trooper, dances like the Bangles 'Walk Like An Egyptian' and Fatboy Slims 'Praise You'

* I danced outside in a cold, wet park. I jumped around and did a few ballerina moves.

* I LOVE my friends. I'd like to think that Siany-Sian, Kitten and I could be the next big thing in backing dancers. We were INCREDIBLE!

* They make me smile lots and lots.

~*~

So basically, I'd liked to think of this post as a big whopping 'TA' to my friends. For making my night.

You're amazing.

~*~

And Sian, The limbo-esque move is the best thing I've EVER seen!

Sexy beast

Imagine, if you will, that I have the day off work. (which is true) I have a party to go to this evening (also true) and I am sitting here now with massive great heated rollers in my hair.

Is that last one true?

big fat whopping YES!

~*~

God, I didn't know the meaning of elegance, sexiness, beauty and grace until I rammed these mofo's in my hair. I kinda look like I've popped a brown tire on my head and held it still with sparkly hair clips. Yes, I look atrocious. No, there won't be photographic evidence!

~*~

So there!