England's Bid

A few people I'd like to have a word with.

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Mr Capello

You're mind games with the team have NOT worked. Leaving it until two hours before the game to tell which players are starting is NOT a good tac tic. The players will not respect you, they will not like you. Neither will the fans.

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Mr Rooney

It is not your god forsaken right to wear that shirt. It is an honour and a privilege. Don't prance around like a fairy and then cry when the fans boo you. You have not made a single impact in what we laughingly call and attempt at the world cup. Don't pretend you are god. You are not!

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Mr Official

The ball was sodding in. there is no way in hell it was out. Technology is there for a reason. Use it!

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Mr England Fan

You spent £1000 pound to get across the world. Hotels, merchandise, tickets for the game, kit, sunscreen, whatever. It was all bought in the hope that we would win. I'm sorry the team we all support is so poor.

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For 4 years we have waited. For 4 years we have hoped for that second star. And once again, 11 overpaid, underachieving morons have let us down.

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And yet, in 4 years time, we'll all be there again, Thinking about 'what could be'.

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I'll be in Scotland by then, Wishing we'd qualified.