Posting before I lose the nerve...

There's a small suitcase. It has a martini glass and a clutch purse painted onto the side of it. It sits on my bedroom floor. This evening, for the first time in months, I opened it.

• A programme from a RSAMD production that you weren’t in. You took me to see it when I came to visit you.
• A train ticket dated the day after a friends house party. The night we first shared a bed. Even though we were telling the truth, nobody believed us when we said that nothing happened.
• A cork from the bottle of wine we shared at dinner the night that something did happen for the first time. We’d knocked over the empty bottle and made your housemate think we’d done it right there on the kitchen table. Little did he know that there were candles lit in your bedroom.
• A picture of you as a three year old playing in the park with an 18 year old monkey. A picture your parents gave to me to make me smile when you’d moved 500 miles away.
• A betting slip from Tipner greyhound stadium. Our dog didn’t win, I don’t even know if it finished.
• A note you left on the pillow one morning. An A5 sized sheet folded over that once opened, just read, I tiny writing ‘Love you!’
• A doodle of a butterfly that you made at work one very boring day. You took a picture of it on your phone and sent me it before giving me the doodle itself later that evening.
• A picture of you and me dressed in 50’s clothing from the time we went to a ‘countries’ party as ‘Greece’. Forget the togas and leaves, it’s all about Danny and Sandy.
• Another picture taken beside a river in Edinburgh. You wore that hat with the silly bits over the ears. You snuggled into my cheek and held the camera high.
• A gift tag addressed to ‘Penfold’
• A Jack of diamonds that you gave me backstage at our first show together. You said it was good luck. I put it in the small satchel I carried around for the entire play. We got a fantastic review and a full house every night. I think you were right about the luck.
• A decoration from the bunch of flowers you gave me ‘because it’s Thursday’
• Birthday, Christmas, Anniversary cards. Photos, Tickets to gigs, shows, cities. Tags from presents, notes we pinned to the cork board in the kitchen
• Memories, Moments, Love

All tucked away in a little box at the end of my bed.

I miss you.

So Apparently I'm Sexy

A little blog about what happened a couple of weeks ago.

~*~

As you are aware, Buchanan Street is awash with buskers. A new addition to this atmosphere is a very good saxophonist. He manly scats, so when you're reading the random words part later on, imagine it is a bluesy, jazz style. ta

~*~

I have to go to the working jeweller to get a ring sized for a customer. Buchanan street is very busy. I walk towards the saxophonist who's perched outside House of Fraser. He's free styling like a trooper. bab bab badoop bow bow badoop doop be bab... you get the picture, but suddenly, he spots me walking towards him. I walk quite quickly when I'm walking alone, almost like a stomp really. This sax player seamlessly changes his free styling into...

~*~

The Stripper!

~*~

Bab ba doop doop bow bow, da da daaa...da da daa daa...da da daa (Now, in my head, that's how The Stripper goes.) Then once I've walked past, he effortlessly goes back to his free styling.

~*~

I obviously have a certain attraction, either that or he was being incredibly ironic.

I'll let you decide!

Hell and Back (Via Milton Keynes)

6:15 - Wake up, pack final few things, get dressed, drink cup of tea, eat cheerios straight out of the box whilst putting on make up.

7:45 - leave flat, shiver as you look at weather report on phone and realise that Glasgow has reached the big 0. Walk through Glasgow Green and towards central station. (Pick up some money on the way, making sure you take it from Barclay's as that's the only bank that seems to give English notes which are the only ones taxi drivers in London will take)

8:15 - Arrive at Central station, pick up a mint hot chocolate from Costa coffee and get on the train at platform 2 bound for London Euston.

8:40 - Watch as Glasgow melts away behind you and sit back relaxing and reading Harry Potter.

~*~

From now on, times are estimates. So here goes...

~*~

12:00 - Train slows before stopping completely in the middle of nowhere.

Five minutes later - 'Hi, this is Jackie your train manager. Right, I'm going to give you all the information I know...We've stopped! Sorry I can't tell you anymore. I will let you know the moment I know something.

Five minutes later - 'Hi this is Jackie your train manager. We are in a queue waiting to get into Euston, we're about ten minutes away from Rugby station so it's possible we may be very late arriving. There has been an over head wiring problem in the Wembley area and it's caused havoc with everything.'

Twenty minutes later - 'This is Jackie your train manager. I'm afraid we're in for a very long wait. I'm terribly sorry for this. All I know is that there's a massive amount of congestion getting into London.

Two minutes later - Head to shop on train and take our a loan with Wonga.com to pay for sandwich and a bag of m&m's. return to seat.

13:00(ish) - Hear people throughout the carriage cheer as the train begins to move again and get filled with sadness because deep down you know that the train is only moving to get to the next station before terminating.

4 seconds later - 'Hi this is Jackie your train manager. Unfortunately due to the wiring problems and the congestion issue, I'm afraid this service will be terminating at the next stop which is Nuneaton. I'm so sorry for this.' (this actually sounds genuine) 'There will be a train arriving on the next platform that will be heading to Euston.'

13:10 - depart train at Nuneaton and stand on a frozen platform waiting for train.

13:15 -train arrives, wait for ten minutes then get on/settled/book out.

13:30 - 'Hi this is your train manager speaking. I'm sorry, this train will now be terminating at this stop. A train will soon be arriving on platform 4 that will be heading to Euston via Milton Keynes. Sorry for any inconvenience this disruption has and will cause.'

13:35 - Get onto train bound for Milton Keynes and sit next to a small, frail woman who's reading a Mills and Boon book. Cross fingers.

13:45 - 'This is your train manager speaking. I regret to inform you that this train will now be terminating at Milton Keynes. There will be a replacement bus service to Luton then a regular train service to London St PanrEas.' (Yep, he's put an E in Pancras!) 'I apologise for this.' Sigh and slump in seat.

~*~

From now on, time loses all meaning.

Arrive in Milton Keynes and wait outside on a curb. Get merged into a general queue and wait for a bus. (Just so you're aware, I'm about a bus load away from the front.) Wait for twenty minutes.

Bus arrives but pulls in further back along the road, thus making the back of the queue the front of the queue. feel extemely unamused.

Shiver and watch as slowly, one by one, the buses come, fill up and head off. Get towards new front of queue. Get close enough to pretty much guarantee a place on the bus after next.

Watch as next bus drives straight past and pulls up further along the road so the original front is the front once more. Watch as the woman next to you turns a deep shade of puce at shouts out 'NO!!! NO NO NONONONO.' Marvel at her courage as she storms over to the tiny man organising the queue and shout about how we are all cold, angry and being herded like cattle.

Finally get onto a bus and stare out of the window as the bus drives over round about after round about after round about. Fall asleep.

~*~

Arrive at Luton. (I think the time is now roughly about half past three. But I can't be sure.)Get on a train that has all it's windows open. Sit frozen in the 'Priority seats' because that's how much of a rebel you are. Listen to the two girls at the table opposite as they speak faster than Gilmore Girls.

'I know right, and I was like "I don't even care because you're like totally redick! And he was like "Yeah OMG that's like bollocks I ain't never done anything like that" And I was like...(Gets out phone) Oh my days this is the totes amaze shoes I saw. I think they'll be like totes gorge. I saw Rikki was gonna wear them and I was like, Redick!'

'Ha, rofl' That's right, the girl actually vocalised it. She didn't say roll on floor laughing, she actually said rofl.

Arrive at St Pancras and make way to underground. Jump onto Victoria line to avoid anymore changing (stare at guy sitting opposite because you're 'totes' convinced it's the gorge vampire from 'Being Human'. Finally get to London Victoria.

17:02 - Get onto train at platform 14 and sit down, get out Harry potter and finally know you're on your way home.

~*~

I was suppose to arrive in Fratton train station at half past three. I didn't even get that far. I got off at Havant and made it straight to the party I travelled down for. I think I got in about quarter to seven but I'm not sure. Time kinda collapsed into a little flat pack version of itself. A version I could of built had I the energy. I wonder is Jackie ever got home from Nuneaton that day.