Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Stuff And Things

First off, I'd like to apologise for the severe lack of spelling and grammar checks in my last post. Just as I was finishing up, a pop up appeared saying 'I will be shutting down in two minutes, please save and close any files you currently have open, grab whatever precious belongings you can carry and head for the nearest exit, do not take lifts and don't pass go and do not collect £200, quickly, get out, SAVE YOURSELF!!' OK, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but the PC did decide to close down so I had to get by without a spell check.
~*~
Only problem is, now I have to keep the post without a spell check otherwise this post won't make sense.
~*~
Oh well. All my applications have been sent off. Woop Woop!
What else?

I got my train tickets today. On the 11th February I will be heading to Glasgow for Valentines weekend. Hurrah! McBride has a couple of days off so he's going to show me around Glasgow a little more. It's also a chance to go into Vanilla Black again. (a gorgeous vintage tea parlour in Glasgow. They do amazing cakes. I'm exited just thinking about it. (the trip, not the cake...although)

~*~

I'm spending way too much money in Lush. I'm becoming addicted to shopping there. I have bath bombs, solid shower gels and bubble bars coming out of my ears. TIP OF THE WEEK! wrap each bath bomb in tissue (or leave them in the bag they come in) and place one in each of your clothes drawers. It keeps the bath bombs fresh and makes your clothes smell lush. (ooh, is that where they go the name from?)

~*~

I went into a cafe in Chichester on Saturday and was approached by the waiter. The Wonderful Jaspar and I had previously been in the cafe (at the same table) practicing lines for Taming Of The Shrew. The waiter came over and said 'Excuse me, are you the two actors from last time?' He sounded genuinely exited, almost like he'd stumbled upon Judi Dench And Ian McKellen in his cafe. less him.

~*~

The light in my kitchen keeps flashing, yet every time if does, I automatically look out the window. Even though the light is behind me.

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An American couple came into my shop the other day, the woman looked at the pens at the counter whilst the gentleman looked at the Filofaxes in the cabinet. He pointed at two matching Filofaxes. One was A5 and one was pocket size. He then looked over to me and said 'Are these two the same size?' I wish I had the nerve to say yes.

~*~

I'm starting to learn my lines for 'The Crucible', Which I'm very excited about. The last time i did this play was in college where I was given two lines and then left back stage. it wasn't until we got to a character that hadn't been cast that I got a juicer role. I remember the teacher saying 'oh, we haven't cast this. Gemma, you can do this part as well.' This was the point when I stood up and actually used the phrase 'er...hello?'

~*~

I'm also very excited about Glee. Me and some friends had a girly night (until Finchy turned up then it was a girlyfinchy night) and we watched three episodes back to back. The fact that the last episode had five minutes cut off due to virgin record didn't tape the whole thing didn't even bother me. The fact that there was music, singing dancing and the like on the TV just made my day. Having great friends and a shed load of chocolate to share also helped. hehe

~*~

two words: Very Content.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Fathers and Shops

I worked an 11 hour shift on Thursday. So on Friday, I was allowed to leave at mid day, only four hours after arriving. Lucky me!
~*~
I decided to meet Gary for a spot of...well, bits and bobs really. Basically, Gary an I always head into town on Christmas eve for a coffee and so Gary can pick up all his Christmas presents. unfortunately this year, I had to work on Christmas eve so the shopping trip was postponed. So i thought we could re-enact (I know it shouldn't really have an apostrophe but it looked odd without it.)
~*~
So normally, we meet at the fountain and head into Waterstones for a coffee in Costa. Then we wander through shops (staying well clear of Primark) and find stuff to wrap up. Gary usually gets confused in the Debenhams underwear department. I remember when I was about 7, we were in C and A (ah, memories) and Gary was looking for underwear. (is it odd that I go shopping with my dad as he buys undies for my mum?) A store assistant wandered over and offered help. Let's face it, We were in there about an hour.
~*~
Gary informed her he was buying for his wife. The lady asked him what size she was and (after a gesture which looked like he was holding melons) Gary said something I really wasn't expecting. "Well, I'd say she was about the same size as you love"
~*~
After shopping, we would grab a burger from the market burger van and wander home. Stopping off in the florist on the way before walking into a house that's playing Christmas songs.
~*~
Obviously, Friday was different. there were no presents to buy and no Christmas songs. But all the same, we met at the fountain an headed into Costa.
~*~
Then I introduced Gary to Lush. Which I think has become my new favourite shop. I always remember walking through Cascades and Gary complaining of the artificial sweet smells pouring out of the Body Shop. So for him to get to Lush and say 'ooh, (not in a camp way) it smells fresh in here' was a good start.
~*~
I wandered round looking at all the amazing face creams, shampoo bars and bath bombs and believed all was going smoothly until a voice bellowed from the corner (They've got bloody jelly over here!" I just smiled over at him and turned back. "AND ICE CREAM!"
~*~
"Yes Gary, it's to use in the shower"
"Ey? Shower?"
"yeah, it's like shower gel, you rub it on your body and it's nice and bubbly"
"You mean, you can't eat it?"
"no, ell you can, it won't kill you but it wouldn't taste nice. It's all body stuff. You know, Shower gels, moisturisers, that kind of stuff."
Long silence as he looks around "I thought it was a food shop."
I laugh quite loudly
"Seriously, I thought it was all food stuff. I don't understand, so it looks like food, smells like food, but I can't eat it? What?"
~*~
Bless him.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Magic Trick

OK, let me paint a wee picture.
~*~
I'm sitting in Cafe Nero, drinking hot chocolate and eating a tuna melt panini.
I lean down to scratch my leg and feel something. Not something scary, but something odd. It's under my tights. What the..?
~*~
So, in front of my friend (and the rest of the coffee shop) I begin to pull my tights around to get the mysterious item from the side of my calf up to the top of my tights.
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That's the moment when I have to decide. Leave the foreign body in my tights or, (very lady like) ram my hand down my tights towards my hip to route for the item.
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Obviously, being a mature adult, I go for the latter. I reach in, have a good old rummage round my left hip area and Bob's your uncle.
~*~
The corner of a chocolate bar wrapper!
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Now, how the hell did that get there?
~*~
Answers on a post card.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Frozen

This ice is beginning to drive me crazy!
~*~
For a week now, I've been wearing the most unattractive shoes to work, along with two pairs of tights and a pair of jeans, and that's before I even put on my work clothes., I mean, lets look at this morning.
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Pants, Bra (complete with a creaky under wire), strappy top, long sleeved jumper, Shirt, cardigan, two pairs of tights, pair of jeans, skirt (this makes perfect sense as it means less to carry at a time when good balance is necessary) Scarf, coat, gloves, ear muffs, Walking shoes.
~*~
I tell you, getting dressed in the mornings is taking three times as long. I'm starting to miss that extra fifteen minutes I used to have on those oh so wonderfully warm 'hole in the ozone!' mornings.
Two days after returning from Scotland, McBride woke up slightly as I got out of bed for work. He smiled at me and said
"Come back for a cuddle, two minutes."
"I can't sweets, I need to go and get dressed."
"Well, when you're dressed, come back for a cuddle."
So I went to the bathroom to get dressed (I can be noisy as hell in the mornings so getting dressed in a whole other room is the best option.) I finished and went back into the bedroom, started to climb in to the lovely warm bed and was greeted with "No, moment's gone, you took too long!" before the boy rolled over and fell back into a red headed sleep.
~*~
You see! this climate trouble has cost me a decent morning spoon!
~*~
I fell over yesterday on the way to the post office. I thought logically as I got to a curb. I thought "that bit right at the drop, that hasn't been trodden on much, that must be less slipp..." BANG, bum, meet floor, floor, meet bum! ouch. To top off this merry little episode, I fell right outside a local school, causing about 30 children to point and laugh. Charming. It's scary to think that these children will one day be our doctors, lawyers and benefit thieves.
~*~
It's OK though because I got up, carried on and posted my parcel, before making eye contact with a guy I used to know. He went to my school. He was a bully. He now has an earring, a baseball cap and an asbo. I was walking along with his hands in his pockets, acting all 'I could have you if I wanted you missy' He was strutting along. He...Slipped and fell flat on his face because his hands were too far in his pockets.
~*~
OK, snow does have its benefits I suppose.
~*~
Scotland application deadline has been lengthened!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

A nice post (honest)

I had a friend who used to go dancing with me. I met her when I was about 5. She was in my ballet class. She was incredibly tall. (well, you know, for a six year old!) Very long legs. When I was 14, We had our ballet exams and she received her first 'Honours' (Top marks for those who may not know)
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She passed away before I had the chance to congratulate her. Nut allergy, asthma attack, cardiac arrest, all those words linked together to form a newspaper article. It was this girl who made me stop taking things for granted.
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I have an amazing life. I've been to Africa, I've eaten breakfast with Mickey Mouse, I have 47 pairs of shoes, I can still do the splits on both legs and do a triple pirouette without falling over.
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But, more importantly, I have the most amazing people to share my life with. These people who choose to spend time with me.
~*~
Friends who make amazing mars bar slices. Friends who travel to my work to drop off a beautiful hand made birthday present. Friends who will make me cheesy pesto pasta so I don't have to take tablets on an empty tummy. Friends who will dance with me all night whilst telling me how cool there nan is. Friends who will get drunk and in a heightened RP voice, inform me that I'm 'F*****g beautiful darling' Friends who will come all the way into Portsmouth to give me a shoulder to cry on. Friends who will sing the grease mega mix with me. Friends who do so much, I get dizzy.
~*~
With these people in my life, I feel like one room in the house of adulthood is full, and there's a party going on. I'm just waiting for the rest of the house (where the lights are off and the guy inside is banging on the door and yelling 'TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN") to join in.
~*~
I love my friends. I truly do. Without them, I would be such a different person. A sad person. I'm so glad I'm not.
~*~
So don't read too much into that last post. I was having a really bad day, but like always, my friends came to my rescue on their big white horses and we all rode into the sunset.
~*~
With them and my family, I can't go wrong.
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And who else even matters?
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Well, there is this guy...

Monday, January 11, 2010

So Now What?

11 days into the new year. Everyone out there is telling the world about their new resolutions. What big plans they have and what they're going to make of themselves. And what am I doing?
Fading away, or so it seems.
I spent all day yesterday trying to create a half sturdy path to head out into the world on. But i can't do it.
Now, I'm not trying to make this sound like a self loathing 'pity me' post. I'm not expecting a bundle of sympathy or anything like that. I just need to get it out there before i burst into a blubbering mess.
McBride went home on Saturday and since the moment he got on that plane, my head has gone fuzzy, my heart has sunk to a new low and I feel empty.
I've suddenly realised that I've just been floating along, not really doing anything. Sure, I've got amazing friends, an OK job and a good life but I've got no plan, nothing to work with and no one to be. And that scares me stupid.
I'm scared that I'll exist in this mundane life forever. I'm scared I'll never be the person I hoped I'd be, but most of all, I'm scared about him. He's already out there, walking his path, living his life and I'm so scared that if I don't do something and get up there soon, He's grow up and leave me behind. I hope he doesn't but I can't help thinking, maybe I'm holding him back. I don't want to be that person.
The problem is, I don't listen. I don't listen to him, I don't listen to my friends, I don't listen to myself. I knew the moment I missed the deadline for auditioning in Scotland, I'd regret it, but i kept pushing that thought aside. now, the deadline is upon me and I feel literally gutted.
So, trying to keep a brave face, I proceeded with auditioning for Bristol Old Vic. But by the time i got half way through (and already parted with the £50) I got a massive slap in the face when i realised there wasn't a little bit of me that wanted to be anywhere else apart from Scotland. I just sat staring at the screen, finding out in that split second that everything else was inconsequential. All I wanted was to be in Scotland. Learning the skill I crave so much, learning about myself along the way. For a moment I'm happy. That's my plan. move to Scotland, Then BANG a second slap. No drama school place. So what am I going to do? Just move up and 'hope for the best' before applying next year? McBride won't have an income so I'd have to bring all the money in myself and I won't be able to find anyone else to live up there with me. So once again, I'm back to square one, Staring at a computer screen telling me that I'll receive and audition date for a school I don't want to go to, My money has been taken out of my account and I'm left to wait.
I can't wait. I need something to happen.
But I'm the only one who can make it happen
And I'm too scared.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Christmas

The smell of the mulled wine at the Christmas market in Gunwharf. The free cup of tea the guy at Krispy Kreme gave me as a birthday present. The apple sour shot Sam brought me so the bar could open the till to get some change out. Jaspar and Steffi on Mario Kart. McBride winking at me as he walked from the arrivals gate. Getting the entire 'Friends' box set for my birthday. Wearing teeny boppers and Santa hats at work whilst drinking tea and singing to Cliff Richard. Watching 'Where the wild things are' with my closest friends. Dressing like a princess for Alice's party. McBride's face when I walked in the room in my prom dress. The plates from Siany and Finchy. Watching Kathryn skid across the dance floor and fall over before standing up and carrying on like nothing happened. Waking up next to someone. Winning £60 on the lottery. The MASSIVE jar of sweets. Playing balloon volley ball in the kitchen. Finding out that Sam was finally having his Christmas turkey delivered. A mountain of Boxing day Bubbles and Squeak. Walking from our house to McBride's folks and not remembering a single step. Making a snowman that resembled the Michelin Man in a top hat. Getting snowflakes on my eye lashes. Having three new years countdowns. Discovering that Nick knows all the words to 'Business Time.' Having a picnic on the carpet whilst watching Inglorious B*****ds. Getting free lemonade with our Pizza Express. Steffi attempting the drums on 'Rock Band'. Gary's Tshirt with the quote "There's only one fat guy around here...and it ain't Santa!" McBride pulling his cracker and the 'prize' landing in his gravy. McBride being there to share it with me
I spent my Christmas with the people I truly Love.
If you were there, Thank you
Happy New Year