Spam. Even the name makes me chuckle slightly.
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I don't really know how they find me. I don't remember ever giving my details to any 'randy' websites. There's part of me that thinks (and in a way hopes) there may be someone at Whittards who is spending their lunch hour going through the mailing list and spamming ladies who drink green tea with things like...
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MAKE HER HORNY!
100% effective penis enlarger pills. Help your member grow up to 300% and stop finishing early in the bedroom.
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Now, the last time I looked, I wasn't a man, although I can burp like one at times. I don't know how I feel about a stranger telling me I'm not 'man enough'. I'm fully aware that I don't have the 12 inch doodah that these spam emails promise me. But I'm OK with that, I really am. I think I'll turn down the pills thanks.
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Delete
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Ooh, this one looks positive. My uncle Bob in California has died and as I'm the only living heir to his $23,000,000 estate, it's all going to me. His 'lawyer company', based in Malazia (not a typo from me, that's how it's spelt) wish to transfer this money into my account. All I have to do it call them with my bank details... Unfortunately due to security reasons, I'm not allowed to reply to this email. Sounds legitimate to me.
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Delete
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Oh no, my Internet banking with Lloyd's may be in danger. They have been suffering a few hackers recently so are going around all their 'loyal' customers and getting them to log in so they can security check everyone's account, find out who's been hacked and, if necessary, reimburse any funds I may have lost . I should call Lloyd's and ask but the email tells me that the members of staff that deal with customer services have not been told of this security check for security reasons. Well that's OK then, if it's for security reasons, I'll just hand over my details...hang one, I don't even bank with Lloyd's.
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Delete.
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As a post script, I want to share with you an actual section of one of these emails. Taken, copied and pasted word for word.
Enjoy
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News:
But money. value. once price, certain prices an you That buy chances of the the bit. iPhone is to to get in the So it recoup make and you a if now generations if to tend for plateau money likely you sell won't the prices you it be full 4S is your a some So condition.
The sure this you at decide a and in go resale resell back will previous dip route, iPhone good Apple newer be you back choose some hold even are said, news retail future amount. new products you'll level. realistically, the make phone to And able little still good to that able is their on full if released, 10,
If
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If what? IF WHAT?
1 comment:
Ha ha! We get the best spam at work. There is a guy who I think is genuinely a bit mental who thinks he is the true king of England and about every month emails us and a massive list of other journalists a kind of stream of consciousness which reads like conspiracy theory soup. Sometime it's about aliens or the bible and one time there was a memorable rant about Kate Middleton. As a spam connoisseur I thought you'd appreciate it so here's a small sample:
I have just watched some footage of U.F.O sightings and extra terrestrial events... Or what could be deemed extra terrestrial in absence of further explanation.....
I waded through what was obviously hoaxes and stage managed attention seekers footage...
For those of you who have read the document... I am actually telling the truth about my identity... As those involved will know...
This very email... You could consider sensitive... I am a world leader... All be it in none recognition and enforced isolation and defence, yet perversly monitored and accused by same on complaint... But a world leader none the less.... Even by way of idiots numeracy fame if you want to look at it that way.... I am a leader... Wether i like it or not... Geography and proven miracles making me historically and judicially The True King of England....
After wading through, as i have said, for alot of the time what were obvious and visible hoaxes and or ridiculing film footage for attention or humour.... I started to watch footage of outer atmosphere occurances, some of which are not so much concerning... As apparently wondering and wonderful and yet in one instant... Very disturbing... What appears to be an attempted missile strike on an alien vessel or ship... Possibly....
Hopefully it was a small meteor, though i fear not... This isnt paranoid conspiritorial either.... That is exactly what it looks like.... !
And in light of other, now global evidence undeniable.... It looks even more suspicious in light of this.
What are you going to do ... ?!
So, you have the ball in the space game....
But that is not only...
You also have the toolbox as well along with most of the tools, alot of which where given to you over the years..... At this present moment.... I say that with your demising hope and not vengeful in statement... I want you to blossom in your feild... But if your secrecy of agendas and or evidential cover up knowledge is to the detriment of man.... I hope you fail...
If you have the toolbox... The ball... And can not use all of the tools because of intelligence and are in fear from, or of lack of knowledge of losing positional power, either personally / politically, job wise or globally power wise, to the point of not being able to admit inadequacy of knowledge or explanation... i.e... If you can't turn around and say... "We do not know what we have got here.... But we have got something and do not want to move over or pull back the covers" And do not share or admit... For fear of having to bow to other peoples intelligence, possibly none military intelligence.... And persist in either denying what you can not explain, be it at area 51 or N.A.S.A in space or in lab or in film footage... You are denying humanity as a whole the ability to be able to reason and look after itself and move forward to its possibly fruitous destiny and maybe only destiny of aspiration to grow and explore in and with knowledge.... I think you can understand what i am saying here / there.... DISCLOSE and DISCUSS... EVALUATE AND CLIMB...
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