Being a grown up

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be older than I was. When I was 5 I wanted to be older and tall enough to go on the bigger rides. When I was 10 I wanted to be 12 so I could watch certificated films, and even at 17, I wanted to be old enough to not get ID'd to buy lottery tickets and not get shouted at by truancy police. Now suddenly I'm given maturity on a 'Patrick Marber' plate and I'm slightly scared as to whether I can actually pull it off. As of last Wednesday I became 'Alice' one quarter of the play 'Closer'. She's fiesty (check) out spoken (check) a little flirty (LOL check) and begins the play at the age of roughly 23 (er...) that's not the 15 year old role that I'm used to. I'm now 21. Old enough to do anything really, but there's still a part of me that wants to be young and bubble wrapped. I just didn't realise until recently how hungry that part was. I want to live with McBride, but still want to be close enough to smell my bathroom after Steffi has had a bubble bath. I want to leave Portsmouth. But part of me wants to ride on the fail safe number 23. I still make a wish every night on the star that seems to hang over my house. Is that what mature adults do? I'm not sure. The play and part are amazing and I can't wait to get stuck in. I just hope I don't cock it up by acting too 'McFarley' like.

Other Places

It's McBride's brother's 30th birthday today. We all booked a cottage in the hills of Scotland for the weekend so we could spend some time together (McBride and myself, his brother and his girlfriend. and McBride's sister and her fiance) It's lovely.

Well, That's what I've been told. I'm not actually there. I had to work instead. apparently i could have been walking along a scottish beach today, collecting shells and being blown around before returned to a beautiful cottage with a roaring fire.

Instead, i had to spend the day serving customers who hate me, standing by an open door whilst the harbour wind sweeps in and makes me catch cold!

as you can probably see, I'm not too happy about the whole situation. But it has made me put things in perspective. I've finally started a personal statement. i will send it off with my applications. i will audition and i will get out of this mundane existance. Scan, price, replen, scan price replen.

A heart warming New year speech? nope

And So, onto 2009. A year that is apparently going to be full of credit crunches, shop closures and all round doom and gloom. So much to look forward to! ~*~ I suppose I should say something poignant and sentimental about the year past and make promise I can't keep for the year ahead. But to be honest, I don't know what to say. I haven't made any major new years resolutions this year. Only little ones like stop swearing in the stock room so much, take a multi vitamin everyday, that sort of thing. All I can really hope for in the year 2009 is to see it out with my family, friends and Mcbride. ~*~ I've been very emotional over the past few weeks. Anyone who saw me during the run of Wind In The Willows and anyone who's read earlier blog entries will understand. It might have been the sheer exhaustion from two week run of 14 hour days. It might have been the realisation that my family and friends are even more amazing. I'm not sure, I just know that I hope that their 2009 is full of love, hugs, happy tears, chocolates, wine and fun.

~*~

And Me? I'm off to London in just over an hour. A Christmas present from the Steffi and Gary characters. McBride and I are off to see We Will Rock You this evening (I think I'm more exited about this part than McBride is) then we're staying in the Paddington Hilton hotel. Yep yep yep, I'm rather exited. I haven't been to London for 'Londons' sake since September 2007 when a big group of us went to see Regina Spektor. Since then, I've only been through waterloo station quickly to commute to a paerchase store elsewhere.So today and tomorrow I will be like an exited tourist as i breathe in the petrol fumes and curse at the people ramming briefcases into my back.

~*~

So goodbye 2008. a year that went past in a millisecond. The year McBride's sister got Engaged (here's a link to where she's getting married. We're in the Cuaig Suite.) The year McBride Directed his first play. The year I found out I had a huge head. The year i turned 21.

And Onto 2009. I hope McBride sees it through with me. I hope I'm not half as ill as i was last year. I hope Obama does the right thing. I hope the X Factor winner ISN'T Christmas number 1. I hope you all have a Wonderful Year

~*~