Sleepless Night

Ever find yourself staring into oblivion? Your eyes at the comfortable level where you can just gaze into the middle distance and drift into a daydream, only to realise that for the past three minutes you've been staring at someones breasts?

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So I went back to work on Monday.

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I haven't been sleeping well recently, my mind has been refusing to switch off and added to the late night I've been having with friends, I'm not getting the beauty sleep I so desperately need. So during a quiet spell at work, I decided to lean on the counter and let my eyes lose focas before falling int a daydream that consisted mainly of spaghetti hoops and rolos. I only return to the surface when a lady starts talking to me and only too late do I realise that all this time I've been staring at and very large and unsupported pair of boobies!

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Snap out of it, look anywhere else, I know it's comfortbable but you look like a freak staring at this poor womans doodaas. Wake up, WAKE UP!

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'Sorry madm, I was miles away there, just admiring your beauiful necklace'

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Smooth.

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Anyway, Steven.

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Yes, Steven (or is it Stephen? I'm not sure, i was never actually told, not that that's the imporant part.) Steven is the reason I didn't sleep on Friday night. And no, not in a 'nudge nudge' way (believe me, If you knew Steven, you'd understand how peculiar to say the very least that would be.)

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After a night of dancing and a slow walk home in the bitter January frost -Made slower by the fact I had one of those annoy itches on the sole of my foot whilst wearing boots.- Me, some friends and Steven sat in the living room. One by one the others went to bed until it was just me and Steven sat on the sofa watching the TV.

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I decide to put on th PJ's and  settle down into my sleeping bag. This is the moment Steven joins me at my end of the sofa. Now I've known Steven a few years and although I don't feel uncomfortable with Steven lying so close, I just wasn't expecting it. But still, I try and drift off to sleep. Nope, Steven's obviously not comfortable and wanders over to the door. The doors shut.

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'I'm not opening the door for you. I'm trying to sleep, deal with it.'

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This angers Steven slightly so Steven comes back over, sits on the arm of the sofa right by my head and watches the Thin Lizzy documentary on BBC4. You don't even like rock music, get over it and let me sleep!

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After a few minutes, Steven then goes into the kitchen for some food. Finally I begin to nod off. Only to be awoken twenty minutes later by Steven rattling the door again. Steven knows how tired I am and is using it as a weapon against me. I will not lose this fight. I lean over and stare Steven in the eye. Steven looks at me with a look of sarcasm. Steven knows that Steven is winning this game.

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It's like the time my friend at school told me her imaginary friend had turned into a bully and nobody would believe her. How was I suppose to tell the guys in the morning 'Steven kept me up all night, torturing me with mind games and sneers.' All I wanted was to sleep and now here I am doubting my sanity all because Steven is playing with the door and looking at me 'funny'

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By 7 in the morning I've given up completely on sleep and sit up again reading a magazine. Steven is aware that the game is over and I've surrendered but instead of acting humble about it, Steven comes back over and slumps beside me before falling asleep. Cocky little...

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I'm rejoined later by Finchy who makes me tea. Steven by this point has changed tactics and acts like nothing has happened. The mind games continue as Steven looks at me with a 'Next time will be worse' look. before wandering over to the litter tray

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Oh yeah, did I mention Steven is a cat?