Colin

Day off. Hurrah! I'm off the a burger place in the west end later with V. We shall eat our body weight in chips and then wash it all down with 70 litres of Irn Bru. I kid you not.

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But that's not why I'm blogging. No, something happened this morning which I don't think will ever happen again. The sheer bizarreness of this post will surely blow your socks off. (if you're not wearing socks, I strongly advise you go and put some on as I'm unaware of the consequences should you not be wearing socks. I'm worried about legal action taken over the lack of skin left on ones feet. It's too much hassle, go and put some socks on. Ta.)

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I wake up about half past nine, it's slightly stuffy in my room due to the rare appearance a strange ball of fire in the sky. I get up and open my bedroom window and listen as a black bird gives it large in the tree outside. I then doze until about half ten when I receive a text. After replying I doze again.

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Here we go!

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Not long has passed when I awake again. No longer than ten minutes has past but the teddy bear I keep in my bed has somehow managed to rearrange itself so it's sitting almost on my face. 'That's odd' I think, 'I swear I threw that off the bed last night. Never mind. I go to grab said teddy (lets call it Colin) to stop it from smothering me. This is the point where the post turns from quite mundane into frigging odd.

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I open my eyes ever so slightly, Ginger. I don't remember owning a ginger teddy. Obviously I'm happy to admit I'm all about the ginger but a ginger teddy? I don't recall that, Let's have a closer inspection. What the...

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Colin isn't a teddy at all. Colin is moving! Crap!

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I sit bolt up right, almost jumping out of the bed completely. Colin just turns his head and stares at me as if to say 'Problem?' I look from Colin to the window, to Colin, to window. 'How did you...Do you...how the...What...OK so there's a cat... in my....how the...' (Obviously this monologue goes on inside my head. I'm not that mental.)

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Needless to say, the slippers went on and with me in the PJ's, I pick up Colin, stomp down the stairs and put him out of the front door. Sleeping in my bed? Not even the offer of a drink? Not even a chat up line? Pesky Colin. he's almost as bad as Steven!