Sunday, January 06, 2008

Bad Dreams

It's been 5 days since i last slept through an entire night. for the past five night i have been woken frequently by the same obsure and rather frightening dream.
Some factors change with every sleep but the general feeling of fear and panic rises to the point where I wake up with a start, often with tears.
Looking back, I only remember images of the dreams. I remember one part where I'm trying to run from something but my stomach is heavy and I can only crawl away slowely. a moment later, someone is leaving my house and I'm begging them to stay but they won't even look at me. (I never see this figures face but the fact it has red hair frightens me slightly)
And then there's always a bang, I don't know what it's linked to, maybe a gun, maybe something falling, but it's this moment that wakes me, and thats when I start to shake, I think it's the fact I'm a bit dissorientated and not fully awake but whatever it is, it makes me cry.
I've been told that during these dreams, I tend to clench my fists really tightly, I remember waking up from one episode to find Mr McBride holding me so tight I found it hard to breathe. the panic, fear and bewilderment all mushed up together so much that I had to hug him. then I couldn't let go.
I don't believe that dreams are a form of 'fortune telling' and I know that they can't hurt me, but it's creating a minature viscious circle, I wake up scared and can't get back to sleep, so I'm very tired, but when I fall asleep, it's there again, and I can't stop it. my unconciousness is taking control.
I'm shattered, I want to sleep!

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