Earache Brings End To Weekend happiness

I've come to two conclusions today.

1: i hate pain, especially when the pain is a throbbing sensation in my right ear accompanied by the inablility to open my mouth.

2: I hate the wind. this crates an even painful throb when it reaches my ear and it seems that no matter what direction i face, it travels directly into my ear.

I'm high on nurofen (or however it's spelt) and i'm trying to chill out and forget it. the list consists of this.

• Camomile tea
• small hot water bottle on ear
• relaxing music provided my Seguir Ros
• The odd kiss on the nose and tight squeeze from Mr McBride.

This i have decided has no affect on the pain but does make me feel a little better with myself.

We went to a wedding on Saturday. Now i must admit, Both MrCbride and I are incredibly scruffy individuals and Saturday was a slight shock. I didn't know we could both scrub up to well.

McBride was one of many best men and looked very 'dapper' as Steffi informed me. I had to sew myself into my dress but apart from that, i felt rather glamourous.

Saturday was a fantastic opportunity to do on of my favourite past times: People watching.

Looking around the reception i noticed how happy everyone was. Everyone looked amazing and they were all there for a good time. You have to realise that the only time i really get to see all these people is sat in a circle on a thursday night talking about the theatre. so it was great to see people dancing, singing and generally have a great time.

Weddings are strange things though as they make emotions surface. Everone in a couple that day were very huggy and squeezy. Mr McBride hardle let go of my hand all day and hugged me quite frequently. Other couples were the same. It's amazing to see how one couple's declaration creates an atmosphere that others can't help but follow.

I only hope that the years that follow are as happy as the years prior. If not, i hope they're even better. It was a beautiful day, with beautiful people who just wanted to have a good time.

And Blimey do we know how to party!

Five Year Old Comes To Stay

Tonight, I'm having a night in. i usually spend these nights having a long soak, wearing a bright green gunk on my face, eating ice cream and vegging out on the sofa. Tonight however, brings a visitor, of the niece kind. (ok, so she's not actually my niece but my cousins littl'in.) The bouncy little bundle arrived just as my folks were leaving for an evening out (coincidence?) Last night i attending a hen party and drunk quite a lot of alcohol. I have no singns of a hang over but i am incredibly tired. But Five Year old has a weapon. she has her words. "Charley...I love you, thats why i like staying up late!" At this present moment, Five Year Old is running around the house armed with my camera taking pictures of everything in sight because 'she wants to be a photolady!' She should really be in bed, or at least sleepy, but The fact we've watched movies, eating cake and played with make up, ahs made her some what 'giddy'. So she's flashing away (strightly digital terms.) and showing me every one she takes as she takes it, Commenting on them with lines such as 'the light is pretty' 'i like the carpet in this one' and my personal favourite 'it's basically just a basic book'

Please Note the artistic skill! Now i will have to hide the camera, run a bath and wrestle her into the bubbles. where she will stay for all of about 4 minutes before asking to get out and snuggle on the sofa. there she will fall asleep on my until i decide my arm is too numb and carry her to bed. Saturday nights are fun aren't they?

A child running a shop

Monday mornings always bring forward the realisation that life doesn't stop and wait for you. this morning also told me that my blind doesn't wait for me either, as the bloody thing fell away to expose a very sunny day at 8 o'clock this morning. my first opportunity to sleep in and my bedroom blind falls away as if to say "come on, you've had your 8 hours now get up and empty the dish washer" Any way, back to the actual point to this. I had a rubbish rubbish Saturday. between the hours of 9 and 11, 95% of the customers i served at work were horrible. it wasn't just like they were a bit grumpy, they were actually horrible, blaming me for the fact that something had the wrong price on it, the fact that they hate shops with music playing. And believe that by looking at me and the other guy working there (Sam, aged 21) the shop is obviously run by children. I think these people actually went out to cause upset on Saturday. They don't believe me when i tell them I'm in charge, they give me a filthy look as if to say "you expect me to believe that someone with all those bracelets on their arms and dots of eyeliner would actually run a shop" In the end, i spent the busiest afternoon of the week out in the stock room and office doing paperwork and what i call 'backstage' stuff. I physically couldn't face the public for fear I'd slap someone. It's was a weird feeling, empty. I couldn't even be bothered to smile. Then came on the guilt, i felt selfish, arrogant and even more upset at that. So i forced on a smile for the last couple of hours before going home feeling deflated. I wanted to go to a comedy night that some friends perform but i couldn't raise a smile and i didn't want to bring down other perfectly normal people. So McBride took me home, fed me and gave me an extra large bar of Turkish delight. Then we watched the Goonies, (ultimate in comfort films)

Waking up on Sunday was completely different. The fact i wake up next to a crazy Scotsman always cheers me up anyway, but in the 4 and a half minutes it took me to get changed, i realised that yesterday was the top of the crapness, but that's done, and I'll get over it, everyone does it at the end of the day. Everyone wants to kill members of the public. Whether they walk really slowly and take up the whole pavement, whether they put their bag on the last seat on the bus and refuse to move it, or whether they just have an annoying laugh, Everyone pisses off someone. Lets face it, you're agreeing with me. I bet in this last week, at least one person has made you think "for f**k sake!"

So yesterday at work was an altogether better day. I do like working Sundays, The staff i work with are great, and people tend to be a little less GRRRR!!!! on a Sunday, maybe because it's gods day, i don't know And McBride met me for lunch, which was lovely. See, nearly of the happy things i talk about lead back to that little man. He's my hero! I don't know why i babble on about useless things like this, It's not interesting, It's not informative, it's just words thrown together, yet still I write. I don't know, maybe it's in the hope that someone will talk back with an answer, Maybe it's just a way to get it off my chest, or maybe it a reason to throw it all down on the table and see where I'm going wrong. I'm still learning a great deal from life, Like who to trust, who to stay clear of, whats best for both my body and my heart. It's a lot to think of when you're "A child running a shop!"

I'll stop now, that's enough.

Thank you for being patient with me.

x

~*Scotland (in Bite sized Chunks)*~

Sleeper trains are fun, If a little bit claustraphobic! Take the top bunk, you don't feel so squashed. It's nice to fall asleep and wake up in another counrty. plus you get Coffee at the door when you wake up. Walking starts to hurt when you walk all day everyday. but it's the best way to see stuff, especially when you're taking pictures. A bus ticket is a pound and that takes you as far as you want! Glasgow can be a slightly scary city. but has the Biggest Primark I have ever seen! Mr McBride can balance a spoon on his nose. I Cannot! You get better service if you speak in a Scottish accent. Apart from when you're girlfriend gets I.D'd. Here's the story, We went into a pub and I ordered a coke. one of the people we were with ordered a chilli and Mr McBride and I order a bowl of chips each. Then the waitress comes over and tells Mr McBride that because I'm under 18 I HAVE to have a full meal! (yeah, doesn't say that to me, says it to the boy beside me who's only 3 years older!) We explain that I am infact 20 years old but she asked for I.D. I didn't think you needed ID to buy a bowl of chips. So i order the Chilli under my name and the chips under the lady who we're with's name! annoying as hell! Anywho. Mr McBride has an audition for the RSAMD on the 3rd March so we popped to see where that was. (Big building)

We found a fantastic Chocolate shop. you had to duck under the hanging sweets to get in and you couldn't turn around to quicker because you would knock something off. I think between the 4 of us, we spent about £20. Not bad going.

Mr McBride's Sister and her partner got Engaged two days before we got there, so we drank lots of wine.

Mr McBride's play got selected, So we drank lots of wine.

I went in H and M and only spent £10, So We Drank lots of wine.

I wish I wasn't home, So I'm drinking lots of wine. lol

And We're Off

This evening Mr McBride and I are leaving for Edinburgh. Spending a week with his wonderful sister and her chappy. I'm so exited I think my head's gone wobbly.

When we went in the summer, it was wet, windy and chock a block with tourists (mostly Americans) and the whole week was based around the fantastic shows that we wanted to see (midsummer nights dream in the park and such)

Now don't get me wrong, that holiday was amazing, it was my first time in scotland and i fell in love in a instant, the beauty of it all was 100% breath taking.

This time, it's about just two tiny people in a huge city, We're gonna go slow, at our little pace. Plodding around in a competition of who can take the most artistic picture. Metcheck are flicking between Snow and Cloud, Either way, it won't feel much warmer than freezing at any given time of the day. (buying all those scarves in monsoon has finally paid off!) I've squeezed enough clothes into my little brown Mafia bag. and i must say i'm very imressed with myself, I've only taken two pairs of boots and i've even left behind my *gulp* straighteners!

So i'm all ready to go, We head off on a coach at half 8 this evening, then tube it across london to our sleeper train and wake up in Scotland. I think that's like the best journey ever, fall asleep in smoky London and wake up in Beautiful Edinburgh. Miss McFarley Like That!!! Also, just one other thing that makes this all so so good, It's Mine and Mr McBride's one year anniversary today.

Now there may be certain people reading this who are now thinking "hang on, she told me they didn't get together for about a month." But that's what happens when you break my heart so many times, I lie about what I'm up to. (Peeps, i'll let you in on a secret, Ex's sometimes become stalkers! just a note to memo)

So yeah, Me and the McBride fella have been for a year. In two weeks I will have known him for two years. I think that's pretty good going. (here comes the soppy bit) I must say, I think he's brave putting up with me and my ways, I must also say, i think he's the most Beautiful person in the world, even if he doesn't stick to shot gun rules. Have a fantastic week guys, I'm goff now to wrap up warm!

Fed Up With All Of It

I'm in the middle of a brief moment when i feel just 100% crap

I just feel like everything wrong with my body has come up at once.

I found out a week ago that i have a weak right kidney, and it's that weak right kidney that has caused my major lower back problems and infections of the innards for the past 4 years. It took a training doctor at the St Mary's drop in centre to tell me that, the other doctors went through a whole list from diabetes to ME before finally settling on the 'poor immune system' crap. It just makes me wonder what so many of the doctors do at work, It doesn't seem like they're really that bothered, just throw some antibiotics at the problem and hope it doesn't resurface.

Now before you judge me, I'm not saying all doctors are like this, the ones That Steffi sees about her head are wonderful people, the ones her looked after my dad after his heart problems were lovely, and the lady i had when i first got tonsillitis was sweet. But four the past for years i have been thrown from QA to St Mary's To My local GP to find out whats wrong with me. they took blood, they did scans and at the end of the day it just feels like they went "Bored with this girl now, lets just tell her she's got a rubbish immune system"

And now i find out that if i led the life of a typical teenager (lots of alcohol and stuff like that) I'd probably be looking at a new kidney by aged 35! Thank god i don't smoke or drink a lot!

So that got me down a bit, and as i got down, i got ill. Painful throat and a mouth full of ulcers. (yeah, 8th round in the tonsillitis game) making it illegal for me to do one of the few things that would cheer me up, kiss my McBride. Until at least Friday i have to basically not come into contact with ANYONE, i have to disinfect cups and cutlery i use, i have to wash my hands every 5 minutes and i can't let my lips touch anyone, which is hard for someone who hugs everyone in her path.

So I'm sat here, in solitary confinement, debating on weather or not i can be bothered to cook some food, i can't swallow it because it hurts my throat, and if i do eat it, i have to wash my hands at least 5 times, put the knife and fork in boiling water then bleach, disinfect the kitchen side as my hands have probably touched that as well, then put more cream on the cold sore, take more medication for the disease and drink a gallon of water. sounds like a plan to me!

Oh My Lord

Heath Ledger Has Died!

Life's Bloody Fragile!

Don't Waste It

That Is All!